Standing in your truth; while refusing to let fear keep you stuck.

June 21, 2020 4 min read

“Speak your truth, no matter if your voice shakes.” Enough said. Okay maybe I could say a little bit more about it. Standing in your truth is a cute catchphrase that we hear often. But what does it mean? Does it mean if your “truth” is harsh, you can say it regardless of who you hurt? Arguably, no. There are so many people who know me that are reading this right now like “Whatchu talking bout Willis?” Bear with me ok.


I have a tendency to say what I am thinking regardless of how the recipient may take it. I may have already shared that my test is simply, is what I going to say true? If the answer is yes, then I ask, is what I am going to say funny? If the answer to that question is yes, then I say it. If you knew me before I turned 30, you would have met a completely different person. I felt that I had to be silent as not to upset the status quo. I believed that what I had to say, that my truth, was not valuable.


How many of you look back and see lost opportunities to let your voice be heard; lost opportunities to stand in your truth? Can you see my hand raised? Well, you should. My earliest memory is in elementary school, when we were working on a group project. I knew that what we were doing was not following the teacher’s instructions, but being shy and not wanting to call attention to myself, I went with the flow. This ultimately resulted in us earning a low grade on the assignment. Back then grades meant everything to me. Ok, they still do , ask my poor son! Grades were the one area in which I could excel. So earning that low grade was disastrous to me. I wish I could end this story by saying that receiving that low grade made me start talking more and letting my voice be heard. Alas I cannot.


Surprisingly, another memory following the theme is from the fifth grade. Music and singing have always been great loves of mine. Four of us decided to enter the school’s talent show and sing Whitney Houston’s, Greatest Love of All. Yep Whitney. Houston. All names have been changed to protect the innocent. So Samantha and I were going to sing, Farrah was going to do American Sign Language, and Natalie was going to play the piano. We practiced for weeks. I was extremely nervous but wanted to be a part of the group and I wanted to sing, so I practiced and practiced every chance I got. I am positive that my family experiences PTSD every time they hear that song.


Back to the story… so we practiced and planned our outfits (light pink sweaters and black skirts) and We. Were. Ready! The day of the talent show arrived and we were abuzz with excitement during the school day. We talked about our performance and planned to meet early to get in one last practice. Now cut to the evening of the talent show. Farrah was there on time and dressed. Natalie was there on time and dressed. I was there on time and dressed. There was no sign of Samantha. As we waited for her, we missed our last opportunity to practice. Trying to reassure ourselves, we acknowledged that we have practiced enough and that we were ready to make our debut.


As the minutes ticked away and our turn on stage fast approached, still no Samantha. I began to hyperventilate and cry. We couldn’t go on without her! What I really meant was I could not go on without her. Oh no! People would judge my singing, they would judge me…! Long story short, I went up on that stage and killed it… Okay I went on that stage with the remaining group members and sang (warbled) my way through the song. My voice shook the entire time. I looked and felt as though I was about to faint throughout the entire performance. However, by the grace of God, I made it. I did not die. I faced a couple of my greatest fears in one night; standing in front of a large group and singing out loud.


As a woman in my thirties, I look back to who I was that night for encouragement to keep moving forward. I realize that regardless of what situation I may find myself in, I will overcome it one shaky note at a time. More importantly, I realized that I was enough and that regardless of anyone’s opinion; I was ok just as I was.


The final word… speaking your truth means that regardless of what fear is telling you, you must stand up, sing out, and let your voice be heard.

Leave a comment

Also in This BAM Life

Are you ready to receive what you asked for? | This BAM Life
Are you ready to receive what you asked for?

August 15, 2020 6 min read

Let’s use money as an example. Money or specifically, more money, is something most of us dream about acquiring. How many of us have included a financial planner or wealth manager in that dream? More importantly, how many of us have looked at our finances to identify the habits you have that are detrimental to your financial goals? Have you done the deep dive into your money management habits? Not just the obvious surface spending habits, like I need to stop buying Starbucks coffee every day. I mean the real uncomfortable
Read More
Ten years later, have you grown or simply changed? | This BAM Life
Ten years later, have you grown or simply changed?

August 15, 2020 3 min read

I acknowledge that you have changed in 10 years, even if it was in minor ways or just physically. What I think is a harder absolute statement to make, is that you have grown in that same timeframe. What if you asked your family and friends to share ways they believe you have grown in this timeframe? What do you think they would say? Is there really a difference between change and growth? Arguably yes,
Read More
Just show up… as you: 10 Lessons to help you own your voice, space, and truth | This BAM Life
Just show up… as you: 10 Lessons to help you own your voice, space, and truth

June 22, 2020 5 min read

Too often we try to fit into a box; fit what we think people want us to be. It is in those times that we diminish our self-worth and authenticity by being someone we are not. How many times can you identify when you didn’t weigh in because you were afraid to be seen as loud, controlling, a know-it-all, or a brown noser? How many times have you kept great ideas or solutions to yourself because you believed your role was to make someone else feel bigger? 
Read More